Self Esteem: Key to a meaningful living

Many times we get confronted with low self esteem. Many definitions, many explanations yet we find that every one of us seems to get bogged down with this problem. Introspection into this complex issue made me think of the problem and an analytical view is submitted herein .Self esteem is the major challenge of our era. It lies at the heart of many of the diverse issues and challenges we face in life.
The fact is precise that low self esteem does not seem to be the problem, that it is so very insidious. Many people who suffer from low self esteem attribute their life challenges to wholly different causes and very rightfully. It does not even occur to them to relate their problems to how they regard themselves at the deepest level. You ask them to trace the origin and the answers seems to be one of the many explanations like a mean boss, racial or sexual prejudice, a talent for choosing abusive love partners and so on. We try to externalize the problem trying to source the origin out of our existence. On the contrary it stems from deep within. However, doing this merely moves a person further away from the real problem, and consequently from the solution. Thus by disguising itself as some other more immediately visible issue, low self esteem is never tackled and overcome. It remains to rear its ugly head again.
How Low Self Esteem Arises
It is very strange to believe People with no apparent self esteem problems may still be susceptible at a subtle level. For example, failing to fulfill one’s dreams when one is young, and settling for a safe route to an unchallenging existence, can damage how well one regards himself. In later life, it could manifest in short temper, cynicism when others do try to better themselves, and even physical illness. However, it is difficult and sometimes impossible pinpoint the exact problem.
In other words, self esteem issues, often inherited from your parents, appeared at this early stage. There are many causes of low self esteem. We gain our predominant world-view by the age of five. In other words, whether you consider the world to be a safe or dangerous place, and whether you will react to events in a primarily positive or negative manner, is determined by this age. Parents are the prime shapers of our young psyches at this time. However, schools, society, and more importantly our peers also play an important role. Our later experiences in life merely reinforce the core impressions we gained at this very early age. Parents play a very significant role in shaping the psyche of the future child and more or less their actions can be reflected with their children’s self esteem. People say that I have taken full care of my children, provided them with every possible needs yet my child seems to have lost his sense of direction and has become wayward in terms of confidence etc. Spiritualist and even scientists believe that this care must begin whilst the child is still in the womb! Parents are too often far too casual about how they bring up their children. They unconsciously pass on their own limitations to them as a result.
The first thing is to understand the difference between self-esteem and self-image. Self-image forms as a result of comparisons you make between yourself and those around you. It is the judgment you make of yourself - the image you have of yourself. Sadly, it is often negative as you can usually find someone better than you at almost everything. Self-image in turn affects self-esteem. An easy way to understand this difference is to look at young children. They have perfect self-esteem because they have no self-image. They are not continually judging themselves against externals and falling short. As they grow older one can note the difference .
One need not work upon self-image. There lies the key. This is what many people try to do. However, working on self-esteem is the heart of creating radical change. One important issue is the all pervading issue of self talk. The key to improving your self-esteem is to take conscious control of your self-talk. Negative self-talk is the prime cause for creating and maintaining negative self esteem. The things you say to yourself in your mind, as well as the meaning you attribute to events in your life, combine to create the reality you end up live. A study has revealed that most people’s self-talk is roughly 95% negative. They see the worst in themselves and in everything that happens. Putting a stop to such self-destructive thinking is vital. It is our thoughts and expectations that shape and produce what we become. The quality of our lives is a direct result of them.
One excellent way to combat and overcome negative self-talk is through using positive affirmations. The principle behind them is that the brain cannot entertain two contradictory notions at the same time. Eventually one of the two contradictory notions must win out and cause the other to collapse completely. The belief that finally wins out is the one that you invest with the most emotional energy and constancy of thought. Putting all your emotional energy behind them gives the affirmations the power to destroy negative self-talk and low self esteem.
Recognition of the problem is the half way to the solution. The key to success in life is to recognize the existence of the problem in the first place! Therefore, consider where self esteem issues may be lurking in your life, but manifesting as apparently external problems. The key attitude for success in life is to take total responsibility for what happens to us. We must work upon ourselves continually in order to manifest what we want. To conclude creating high self esteem is one of the best things you can ever do to totally transform every aspect of your life. The results are time tested and reproducible.

Prof GSPATNAIK is a consultant orthopedic Surgeon and a social scientist based in Bhubaneswar. He can be contacted at www.drgspatnaik.com