BODY LANGUAGE/BODY GESTURE

Dr.D.R.Nakipuria.,Siliguri

                 In our day to day activity and social interaction,how a person,Relative,Friend,Patient, Doctor, Businessman, Boss,Customer,Leader,Enterpreuner,staff either male or female behaves with us or present oneself before us matters a lot before our interaction or verbal communication establishes.We assume involuntarily much of our communicator and our delivery is mostly move around such presentation and our wisdom or intellegesia is also decided on the fact that how quickly and precisely we come to the conclusion of our style of interaction with our communicator by assessing his/her Body Language or Gesture.Even when we are part of an analysing team of any conversation/interview/interaction conflict between two persons as individual basis or representing two societies/cultures/religion/countries Body Language or Body Gestures becomes the first and important tool of our assessment of Interacting Peoples and are very important when verbal comments are not passed .That is why it is important to know How to read Body Languages/Body Gestrures oe to learn something about this topic so that we can represent ourselves better befor someone and assess other also correctly  before we make any verbal communication.

                          How to read body languages depends on the person and how you perceive things in life. If you are searching for a specific meaning, then likely you will see this meaning in the way the body moves. Yet if you want the facts, thus you will search deeper into the person to see what you come up with.

There are many types of body languages conveyed everyday. No matter where you look you can see a person’s body move as they speak, move, sit, stand, lie down and so forth. If a person is lying down with his hand backwards on his forehead, likely he is either dreaming or thinking about something he always wanted to know or see.

At what time you see a person staring off into the distant air and nothing is in view, the person may be daydreaming or else visualizing the scenery around him. What is it you want to see?

Body languages are either verbal or not. If the body is in a position you can determine by glance an overall view of what the person may be feeling. Body languages express feelings, thoughts and emotions, yet the words are the enforcers. The body languages are the backers.

What are body languages? How can you read the languages spoken from the body? If you see a child out in the yard walking with his head down and seem to be wandering nowhere, he is probably lonely and wants someone to play with him. This is a sign of attention seeker.

A person that laughs a lot even if the situation is funny or not may be seeking attention, deranged in the mind, or what have you. The person is probably deranged in the mind if he or she laughs while someone is telling a bone chilling story about someone getting hurt in the picture.

It depends on what you are seeing and what you want to see, but some people believe that if a person is rubbing his eyes it is a sign of disbelief or the person is in doubt. If a person is rubbing their eyes I am going to ask if they have something in their eyes or if they suffer hay fever. If the person responds then I know what the person is feeling, since he told me in his own words what is going on. I am not going to jump to any conclusions as to what his body is expressing.

Some people believe if a person clasps the hands behind the back that the person is angry, apprehensive or frustrated. I seen many people act out in this gesture and they were relaxing, or getting in a position that made them feel comfortable.

Yet other people may see a person rest his hands on the head and look down with the eyes, and think he is bored. I’ve seen this gesture many times and knew that the person was thinking hard, resting, or else considering what the other person was saying.

Most people may feel if you are not looking a person in the eyes while speaking that the person is ignoring you, bored with your conversation and the like. The truth is people often listen and hear better while handling other tasks and communicating. I won’t spend all my time looking someone in the eyes as I speak, simply because I have other tasks on my agenda, thus I can still hear what they are saying as they speak. Of course at an interview I would look the person in the eyes.

While sitting in the company of our friends or our acquaintances we must observe whether they are really enjoying our talk or are just getting bored. Although most of us hardly bother about such a term as ‘bore’ in an informal situation, one must be able to analyze in a formal situation whether the audience is really listening to you or not. This can be identified by observing certain actions and gestures of the listeners.

Rejection: Gestures like beating the table, beating knuckles on the table, yawning, looking somewhere else, gossiping or placing one’s head down on the table etc. denote that the listener is getting bored and something must be done to quickly regain the interest of the listeners. The drooping-eyes position is the gesture shown by a person who does not bother to hide his feelings. He puts his open hand to the side of his head, drops his chin in a nodding manner and allows his eyelids to droop.

Sometimes it so happens that the listener seems to be looking directly into your eyes but his thoughts has drifted away to some other things. The best way to identify this is by putting up a query directly to that person. Being faced by such a scene that person feels perplexed and may ask you to repeat the question or simply say “I beg your pardon”. Another way to identify this kind of a situation is by observing the eyes of the listener. The eyes of the listener hardly blink, as if he is in a state of trance.

Other indications of boredom are - frequently looking at your wristwatch...nail chewing, or throwing one’s head in a backwards motion in order to be in a more comfortable position, or rather more defensive position. Showing signs of being hungry, thirsty or uncomfortable are also common indications of boredom. This is all according to people who think they can read the human body and that the body speaks louder than words. The fact is if a person is looking at his wristwatch is it possible he has another engagement and he is keeping track of the time? Sure it is. If a person is nibbling on the nails, it doesn’t mean he is bored, it could mean he has a nervous condition also. If a person is tossing back their head, is it possible vanity is in the picture rather than seeking comfort, or preparing for defense? Some people do this to get their hair out of the face.

Acceptance: Acceptance gestures are difficult to identify although it can be easily identified whether you are being rejected or not. In a group if you are speaking and someone moves closer to you and places a hand on your chest or shoulders in a reassuring way means that you are trusted and whatever you are saying is being accepted as the truth. Though this can never be taken as a sure shot signal it mostly is true.

But still some of the signals that can indicate acceptance are:
1) Hand to chest gesture: this gesture can indicate greeting others, pledging allegiance to national flag, openness, sincerity, swearing an oath etc. In general this kind of a signal indicates devotion, loyalty and honesty.
2) Touching gestures: by touching we simply express our emotions to our close ones. When someone approaches us and touches us it can mean that he/she wants us to stop and start listening to him/her. Touching or grasping one’s hands or shoulders can mean that the other person wants to interrupt or put weight on some issue.

Touching gestures can also be used to calm down a person. Touching gestures like hugging someone indicate intimacy, love or friendliness or a sort of closeness in relation.

During a Conversation: Although hardly do we notice some of the behavioral patterns shown by people around us, but it is worth noticing that the higher the socio-political stature of a particular person, the lesser is his usage of gestures and more refined is their selection of appropriate gestures for a particular scenario

With the aid of this example we can clearly see that with the increase in age, a person’s gestures also get refined. For e.g., if a child tells a lie he immediately covers his/her mouth with one or both the palms. In the same situation a teenager could be observed to be touching his lips or mouth region lightly with his finger.

But when an adult is faced with a similar situation, he being a seasoned campaigner will show a bare minimum gesture of touching his nose lightly, something which we would hardly ever notice. Yet, some people will tell outright lies and you will not notice unless the person is observed closely, while his/her words are thoroughly paid attention to. For example, a sociopath, psychopath, or pathological liar will not use body languages to let you know he or she is telling a lie.

Mouth covered by hand or palm: Very often people try to cover their lie by making certain gestures like covering their mouths partially with their palm while the thumb is kept pressed against one of the cheeks. This kind of a gesture denotes that the speaker is flatly lying or is trying to hide something. But if the listener makes the same gesture then it means that the listener has no trust in the speaker and is not ready to buy his story.

Nose Touching: This is just a more sophisticated replacement for the above mentioned gesture. While making this gesture some people rub below their nose, since it’s more effective than the above because it’s not much evident.

Rubbing the Eyes: While speaking in public or in a private gathering, if you notice that someone is rubbing his/her eyes, and avoiding making any kind of eye contact, then it is quite a possibility that he/she is lying. This gesture is generally employed to avoid the eyes of a person to whom one is telling a lie.

Collar Pulling: Some people unconsciously pull their collar when they tell a lie. In doing so they suspect that they have been caught. This gesture also indicates a person’s anger or frustration. In such a case this person simply pulls his collar to let some cool air inside to make himself feel a bit relaxed.

There are several other indications that a listener may give when he begins to get bored like supporting his head on his arm or palms, putting his head down on the table while listening etc.

There are certain gestures that a listener makes at what time he is interested in a conversation. If two people are sitting across a table or a speaker is giving a lecture and the listener is sitting watching intently with a closed hand resting on his/her cheek and the index finger pointing upwards, then it is a clear signal of the fact that the listener is very much interested in continuing the conversation. But one must be cautious to note that when the index finger points vertically upwards and the thumb are supporting the chin, it could mean that the listener does not agree with the speaker’s point of view. If at this point of time the listener begins rubbing his chin with his thumb and index finger then it means that he is making a decision.

It’s no myth that those who understand body language better excel in their workplace and in their social circle because they know when to make the right moves. Managers, salespersons, teachers and many more use it in their everyday life to their advantage.
Let me discuss a particular case of a meeting between the company executives and the worker union’s leaders over increasing certain benefits for the employees. During the meeting one of the executives passed a message that they should not give into any more demands of the union leaders apart from what had already been accepted in the meeting till then. While the union leaders kept on pressing for the remaining demands, they eventually gave up after ten minutes. Was it just some experience that told him to take such a decision? No, it was his knowledge of body language that helped him and his company to come out of the meeting on fair terms.

So what did he see there? The manager saw that one of the main leaders of the worker’s union gave signs of willingness to reach to an agreement by unbuttoning his coat. Unbuttoning coat buttons during a meeting are signals of openness and friendliness. Of course the manger not only got accolades from his seniors but also a raise.

The way we speak and what we speak forms a very small portion of our dialogue. Majority of the conversation can be understood through a person’s body language. An experienced salesperson always looks into the eyes of his customer to see his pupils. If the pupils are dilated then it means that the customer is interested in the product and that it is the right time to strike.
One of the best ways of understanding the feelings of group as a whole is by observing the gestures and expressions of all the members of the group. If the majority of the members do not have the same expressions then it can be very safely assumed that the thought of the entire group is not the same and of just of a handful of individuals. This way many managers have prevented themselves from giving into the unjust demands of the subordinates.

During a meeting or training program or a presentation you can very easily make out if a person is listening to you or not. If the left hand is kept on right hand and the palms facing down then it’s a clear cut signal that the listener is interested in whatever you are saying. On the other hand if the right one covers the left one then it’s a signal of disagreement or that the listener wants to raise a point opposing yours. If a person is sitting with his arms and legs crossed and gazing continuously at you without flickering his eyes then it means that the person is least interested in what you are talking about. If a listener nods his head then it means that he is interested and is encouraging you. On the other hand if he nods his head rapidly then it means that he wants you to finish quickly. If the listener narrows down his eyes occasionally or strokes his chin or pulls his beard gently then it’s a sign of evaluation and that the listener is about to make a decision.

However, all said and done, one must be wise enough to read the overall signals and not come to any conclusion based on just any one gesture. It is the art of understanding the unspoken words that has given an edge to those who have excelled in their respective professions over others who believed the word of mouth.

Reading the Movements of the Body

Posture can determine if a person has an attitude, if the person is overbearing, and the like. If a person is standing, a person may lean against an obstacle to rest the body, or else stand straight up, thus showing a good posture as well as a purposeful meaning.

If a person has a balanced posture thus it can be interpreted as a sexual attraction. This may mean in some cultures that the person has an adapting personality and that the person is balanced properly.

Men in authoritative workplaces are commanded to sit up, stand up, and lie down with a posture in complete alignment. This is a symbolizing of respect and control.

Women often have a better posture than men, yet at what time illnesses set in it can affect the way a person sites, lie, or stands.

Usually at what time a person is standing or sitting with an aligned posture it means there health may be in good condition. You will also notice the chest area extending outward, while the head area is held up high. The person is often in control.

Other signals are often sent regardless of how the body is positioned. In other words the posture is a stand-behind the hands, eyes, mouth, and other parts of the body. The hands and eyes often make the most powerful body languages recognizable to all. For example, a woman with a fabulous posture may endure unwarranted male attraction. This could put the woman in a position to use the body to signal that the attention is not wanted. The woman could be sitting in an upright position and as a man approaches she may use her hand pointing it sideways and straight up while giving a firm NO. This will let the man know that his company is not needed.

On one hand the posture can send messages of dominance, while at other times the posture could appear natural. For example, a man may use his posture or stance, puffing up his chest and with his eyes staring into the eyes of the other party involved. If the stare lingers longer than a couple of minutes and no words are crossed it may be a sign of trouble.

A person could stand with a leg extended slightly frontward, hands in pocket, and arms bent slightly. This could be a symbol of relaxing, while standing in position.

Men when they are gathering and talking will often employ the last stance, unless the person is authoritative. A person standing with his arms folded across his chest in an upright position is showing a sign of control, while demonstrating that his defenses are prepared for the possible situation as it arises. Thus, he is showing a sign of control, while showing he feels slightly or immensely threatened in his environment.

Postures are seen while sitting, standing or lying down. While the body sits it will most times sit in an upright position with the knees bent, legs crossed and likewise. Men often place their hands over their chest while resting in a chair, which is a sign of comfortableness. Some people even prop their knees and legs up with one leg spread and the other leg firmly gripping the seat area. This too is a comfortable symbol.

If you are going for an interview your best bet is to sit up in the chair properly without slanting or dangling the posture. This will show the interviewer that you are in control of your situation. It will also let him/her know you are not threatened by the meeting.

dr.D.R.Nakipuria

Dr.mrs.ranju Nakipuria

Ambika Multispeciality Hospital

29 Agrasen road,khalpara

p.o.siliguri-734005(w.b.)

09434143550