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Sep28

God made woman to be strong internally. And he made sure he would keep testing this strength time and again, with each blow her becoming stronger and resilient. When I spoke to my clients today (strangely all of them belonged to the ‘weaker sex’), I got the impression that but for women, troubles would bolt from the face of this earth! I mean, they are found to be balancing relationships, work and personal lives, turbulent adolescent childhood of their off-springs, and to top it all, they also surface with unfulfilled desires which have been given a cold shelf in their lives simply because they are no longer important.
Where does she get this resilient nature from? Is it from her biological leanings of taking care, nurturing instincts? Or is it primarily a need to be needed that is being met? And how does she know that she is not really the problem-solver, only a prop to support the person who is feeling down and out? And howmuch ever she is going through, the moment she finds she is needed, she is able to put her own baggage aside and be available to the one with the greater need…
Being a practicing counselor, the primary demand on me is to be a listener. Today was a particularly taxing day, with very low energy levels, and a whole lot of issues that I was grappling with. I think I also looked loaded, because not one I met at my workplace passed me without commenting on how low and burdened I looked. I tried to make light of it, blaming it on the unloading that was happening and that was natural in my profession, but I knew I failed to pull wool over their eyes. It showed; it showed that I was reaching the end of my tether and I needed respite. But somehow, when I reached my room and sat at my table, and I started my appointments, I realized I could disconnect from myself and attend to the emotional unburdening of my clients. In my profession particularly, it is so important that we are unbiased, and in a calm frame of mind, to prevent subjectivity entering our conclusions. If we are at war with the world, how would we sound convincing when we talk to our clients? And there I was able to do justice to my profession, but I feel it was more because I was a woman, than the fact that I was a counselor. The woman in me, who reaches out the one in pain, in suffering, and who wants to say: I understand your pain; I empathise with whatever you are going through.
I am not in any position different from what I was in the morning; but I feel more in control of myself. I feel strengthened, when I saw the strength pouring out and being received gratefully. I also do not know whether my clients felt empowered, but I felt more in command of myself when I walked out of my consulting room…
Mohana Narayanan

Posted on Tuesday, 28th September 2010