METAMORPHOSIS When some things shatter, there is no noise; but the silence is deafening. Relationships fall into this kind of breaks. When parameters change, when tracks are shifted, when perceptions start to differ, the feeling of discomfort is intense; it is as if you are going through a medical procedure where your insides are revamped, and you undergo a transfusion. The pain is sometimes unbearable, no amount of anesthetics seem to help. But then the knowledge that you will be better off for all the pain perhaps pulls you through the agony! Why do we revolt so much? Why don’t we realize that it is because we are resisting so much that the pain persists. If we go along with the flow, things will no longer seem to be the end of the world. We need to accept the fact that we outgrow relationships, we change the way we think, and most important of all issues, we decide to take responsibility to choose to get hurt and not blame the rest of the world for treating us like dirt. There is also another angle to the whole issue; the way one asserts his or her rights on the other person. What gives us the authority to encroach the space of another individual I wonder? Why is this message so difficult to understand for some people, that you need to understand the basic dynamics of the association, and the nuances of change that it undergoes? While the concept of soul mates is all fine and Richard Bach makes good reading, I don’t think it is a possible reality. How can two people grow at the same pace, and think the same thoughts? So when the differences start to matter, one individual goes on this rampage, accusing the other of defiling the relationship, instead of understanding and accepting that people undergo transformation, and they need to let go of superficial similarities, to work on deeper underlying issues. Nothing comes of all this except anguish and intense feelings of discord. It takes a while for things to settle down; and during this process, more evolution happens. Unfortunately, this advancement only succeeds in widening the chasm even more, with one of the partner growing with this insight, and the other nursing bitterness and feelings of dissent. I wish this did not end this way, but who says anything lasts forever?? Mohana Narayanan November 1,2010