Child Psychology
Posted by on Saturday, 3rd December 2011
CHILD PSYCHOLOGY:
Is a curious thing that the scientific study of child behavior is only of recent origin. Philosophers had talked about the importance of childhood in determining the nature of the adult and poets had written about it.
The childhood shows the man,
As the meaning shows the day.
__ Milton in Paradise Regained
The child is father of the man
__ Wordsworth in My Heart Leaps Up
Two parents including Charles Darwin (1877) published infant biographies. But the first comprehensive study of child development did not appear until 1882. This was Prayer’s, “The Mind of the Child.” It also, was written by a father and observation was limited to one child. Although restricted in these ways, this was a careful study, dealing e.g. with reflexes, sensory ability, emotional development and thought processes. It is infact, a landmark in the history of child psychology.
Evolutionary Influences: One idea which played an important part in evolutionary biology also gave an impetus to child psychology. This was the concept of recapitulation, which supposed that, in their early growth, organisms exhibit, for a time, certain traits possessed by animals lower in the evolutionary scale. Some structural evidence for this came from the fact that human foctuses have structures resembling gill slits. These later become a part of the ear. Likewise, each human being has tail, which, except, in rare instances, disappears before birth.
Impressed by evidences for structural recapitulation, some early child psychologists looked for behavioral evidence. It was suggested, e.g. that “the child after birth recapitulates and uses for a time various phases of its prehuman ancestral behavior.” Offered in evidence were the monkey-like antics of children and the tendency of many to walk on all fours. One of the early leaders in child psychology, G. Stanley Hall of Clark University, even claimed that the cultural history of man’s behavior is mirrored in the activities of children and especially in play. He believed that, “The best index and guide to the stated activities of adults in past ages is found in the instinctive, in taught and non-initiative plays of children.” But the recapitulation concept, although it served for a time to focus psychological attention on children, received little support from observations of child behavior.
Developmental Schedules: When child psychology got under way, there soon developed an interest in such questions as: What reactions are usual or normal, or to be expected at given age levels? Research designed to answer such questions is often referred to as normative, a search for norms. Intelligence tests such as those, which originated in France, were normative but confined largely to memory and reasoning. They were, of course, designed for school children. They did not tell how a baby of three or six months or of two or four years should be reacting. Nor did they deal, in any direct way, with sensory, perceptual and motor development. The first extensive development schedules designed to tell parents what children usually do at various age levels from birth, up grew out of research conducted by Arnold Gessell and his associates at Yale University. Various test situations, involving response to such objects as dangling rings, cubes and mirrors were used at the early age levels. At later ages, the tests involved observations of language and social behavior. Large numbers of children were tested. Movies of their reactions were made and analyzed frame by frame to discover age changes in behavior. The chief outcome of this research was a detailed catalogue of the responses to be expected at successive age levels. Over and beyond its scientific value, information like this is of obvious value to pediatricians, educators and parents.
The Influence of Psychoanalysis: Like the poets quoted above, Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) and later psychoanalysts claimed that childhood experiences leave an indelible impression in adult personality. Freud emphasized experiences associated with sexual development. Others stressed the importance of frustration and insecurity in childhood, with or without sexual overtones. Regardless of such differences among them, these men helped to turn the spotlight on childhood and more specifically on parent-child relationships and other aspects of family life. This approach supplemented and as it were, rounded out the approaches to child psychology that we have already considered. Moreover, the influence of childhood on adult personality became an interdisciplinary problem, bringing about cooperative studies among psychologists, sociologists and anthropologists. The later were led to investigate how methods of child rearing characteristics of different cultures influence the personality of adults.
The principles of child psychology are based on research findings and theories about children’s behavior and development from the time of conception to the beginning of adolescence. The onset of pubescence, which typically occurs between twelve and fifteen years of age, marks the transition to a period of life which psychologists have considered sufficiently different from earlier childhood to merit separate treatment as the psychology of adolescence.
Psychologists have found it convenient to identify the following chronological age groupings:
Germinal: first 2 weeks after conception
Embryo: 2-6 weeks after conception
Foetus: 6 weeks after conception until birth
Neonate: First 2 weeks after birth
Infant: First 2 years of life
Preschool child: 2-6 years of age
Primary-school child: 6-9 years of age
Intermediate school child: 9-12 years of age
Junior-High school child: 12-15 years of age (the onset of adolescence occurs during this period)
This classificatory schema is arbitrary and has no theoretical value. Based on more-or-less general usage, it merely provides a convenient framework for discussion and easy appellation.
A study of the psychology of childhood, of conscientiously and intelligently pursued, provides a rich background of information about children’s behavior and psychological growth under a variety of environmental conditions. It provides information about psychological scales for appraising a child’s developmental status; provides certain “norms” of behavior and growth for comparative purposes; provides understanding of basic psychological processes like learning, motivation, maturation and socialization; supplies knowledge of general principles of development with which to evaluate critically new trends and “fads” in child care and training and offers practical suggestions for guiding the psychological growth of children who experience difficulties in adjusting to adults, children and other personal and natural components of their culture. Furthermore, extended study in this scientific area promotes a better understanding of adolescent and adult behavior. Familiar aphorisms such as “The child is father of the man” and “As the twig is bent so grows the tree” document man’s belief in the major contributions of childhood experiences to the personality and behavior of the individual.
While the present research and theoretical status of child psychology may appear to have emerged “full blown” in the twentieth century, closer examination reveals its deep and tenuous roots extending far into the past.
Dr. Nahida M.Mulla M.D.MACH
Principal,
A M Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Nehru Nagar, BELGAUM
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Child Rearing Practices
Posted by on Saturday, 3rd December 2011
CHILD REARING PRACTICES
Different child rearing practices are found between social classes. Recent investigations suggest that more middle class, then lower class have adopted the permissive-democratic approach. Evidence of this greater adherence to the permissive democratic approach on the part of middle class parents can be seen in:
1. Greater evidence of warmth and affection in middle class home
2. Less authoritarianism and more open communications between parents and children
3. Greater tolerance for developmental immaturity and aggressiveness towards parents
4. Greater emphasis in fostering wholesome development and establishing good rapport than an obedience, respect and the physical aspect of care
5. Greater reliance on reasoning and inner controls in disciplining children than on physical punishment and ridicule.
6. Greater parental concern with and participation in their child’s interests.
Child Rearing Styles: are constellations of parenting behaviors that occur over a wide range of situations, thereby creating a pervasive and enduring child-rearing climate. In a landmark series of studies, Diana Baumrind gathered information on child rearing by watching parents interact with their preschoolers. Her findings, along with many others that extend her work, reveal three features that consistently differentiate an authoritative parenting style from less effective, authoritarian and permissive styles. They are:
1. Acceptance of the child and involvement in the child’s life to establish an emotional connection with the child
2. Control of the child to promote more mature behavior and
3. Anatomy granting to encourage self-reliance.
Authoritative Child Rearing: The authoritative style is the most successful approach to child rearing. Authoritative parents are high in acceptance and involvement – warm, responsive, attentive, patient and sensitive to their child’s needs. They establish an enjoyable, emotionally fulfilling parent-child relationship that draws the child into close connection and interaction.
At the same time, authoritative parents use adaptive control techniques. They make reasonable demands for maturity and consistently enforce those demands. In doing so, they place a premium on communication. They give reasons for their expectations and use disciplinary encounters as “teaching moments” to promote the child’s self-regulation of behavior.
Finally, authoritative parents engage in gradual, appropriate autonomy granting. They allow the child to make decisions in areas where he is ready to make choices. They also encourage the child to express his thoughts, feelings and desires. And when parent and child disagree, authoritative parents engage in joint decision making when possible. Their willingness to accommodate to the child’s perspective increases the chances that the child will listen to their perspective in situations where compliance is vital.
Throughout childhood and adolescence, authoritative parenting is linked to many aspects of competence. These include an upbeat mood, self-control, task-persistence and cooperativeness during the preschool years and at older ages, responsiveness to parents’ views in social interaction and high self-esteem, social and moral maturity, achievement motivation and school performance.
Authoritarian Child Rearing: Parents who use an authoritarian style are low in acceptance and involvement. They appear cold and rejecting frequently degrading their child by mocking and putting her down. Although authoritarian parents focus heavily on control of their child’s behavior, they do so coercively by yelling, commanding and criticizing. “Do it because I say so!” is the attitude of these parents. If the child disobeys, authoritarian parents resort to force and punishment. In addition, authoritarian parents are low in autonomy granting. They make decision for their child and expect the child to accept their word in an unquestioning manner. If the child does not, authoritarian parents resort to force and punishment. The authoritarian style is clearly biased in favor of parent’s needs. Children’s self-expression and independence are suppressed. Research shows that children with authoritarian parents often are anxious and unhappy. Girls especially appear dependent, lacking in exploration and overwhelmed in the face of challenging tasks. When playing with peers, children reared in an authoritarian climate react with hostility when frustrated. Like their parents, they resort to force when they do not get their way. Boys especially show high rates of anger, defiance and aggression.
In adolescence, young people with authoritarian parents continue to be less well adjusted than those with authoritative parents. Nevertheless, because of authoritarian parents’ concern with controlling their child’s behavior, teenagers experiencing this style do better in school and are less likely to engage in antisocial acts than are those with undemanding parents. i.e. parents who use the two styles we are about to discuss.
Permissive Child Rearing: The permissive style of child rearing is warm and accepting. But rather than being involved such parents are over indulging or inattentive. Permissive parents engage in little control of their children’s behavior. Most of time, they avoid making demands or imposing limits. And rather than engaging in effective autonomy granting, permissive parents allow children to make many of their own decisions at an age when they are not yet capable of doing so. They can eat meals and go to bed when they feel like it and watch as much television as they want. They do not have to learn good manners or do any household chores. Although some permissive parents truly believe that this approach is best, many others lack confidence in their ability to influence their child’s behavior.
Children of permissive parents have great difficulty controlling their impulses and are disobedient and rebellious when asked to do something. They are also overly demanding and dependent on adults and they show less persistence at tasks than do children of parents who exert more control.
In adolescence, parent indulgence continues to be related to poor self-control. Permissively reared teenagers do less well academically, are more defiant of authority figures and display more antisocial behavior than do teenagers whose parents communicate clear standards for behavior.
Uninvolved Child Rearing: The uninvolved style combines low acceptance and involvement with little control and general indifference to issue of autonomy. Uninvolved parents’ child rearing barely exceeds the minimum effort required to feed and clothe the child. Often these parents are emotionally detached and depressed and so overwhelmed by the many stresses in their lives that they have no time and energy to spare for children. As a result, they may respond to the child’s demands for easily accessible objects, but any parenting strategies that involve long-term goals, such as establishing and enforcing rules, about homework and social behavior, listening to child’s point of view, and providing guidance on appropriate choices are weak and fleeting. At its extreme, uninvolved parenting is a form of child maltreatment called neglect. It is likely to characterize depressed parents with many stresses in their lives, such as marital conflict, little or no social support and poverty. Especially when it begins early, it disrupts virtually all aspects of development, including attachment, cognition, play and emotional and social skills.
Even when parental disengagement is less extreme, it is linked to adjustment problems. Adolescents whose parents rarely interact with them, take little interest in their life at school and do not monitor their whereabouts show poor emotional self-regulation, low academic self-esteem and social performance and frequent anti-social behavior.
Dr. Nahida M.Mulla M.D.MACH
Principal,
A M Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Nehru Nagar, BELGAUM
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NUTRITIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN
Posted by on Wednesday, 29th September 2010
NUTRITIONAL NEEDS OF CHILDREN
There are two fundamentally different kinds of food needs- energy requirements & structural requirements. The body requires energy for many activities such as beating of the heart, breathing, digestion of the food & voluntary muscular activity. Energy is also needed for growth. This energy requirement expressed in calories is obtained chiefly from carbohydrates & fats.
1. Energy Requirements: The amount of energy needed in terms of calories varies from individual to individual & is dependant upon a number of variables, none of which can be considered independently but rather are part of a constellation. It differs with size. A large child requires more energy producing foods than a small child. It differs with the rate of activity of the body processes while at rest, i.e. with a basal metabolic rate. The faster the rate of basal metabolism, meaning the faster the heart beat, respiration etc. The greater the number of calories used in a given time & conversely, the lower the rate, the lower the number of calories needed.
The energy requirement differs too with the amount of voluntary activity. A very active child requires more calories per day than a quiet one. The same child will need more calories during a day of vigorous activities than during one of quiet activities.
Energy requirements differ also in accordance with the efficiency of the body in using foods. Some bodies are more economical in the use of foods than others. In some cases food is more easily digested & absorbed than in others. In all individuals some food value is lost in bowel elimination, but the amount varies considerably from child to child. Finally, the need for calories depends on the rate of growth. The fast growing child will need more calories than the slow growing child. During the periods of his life when the impetus to grow is more intense, infancy & early adolescence, the amount of energy required for growth will be greatest.
In proportion to their weight, children’s food needs are greater than those of adults because of children’s relatively greater basal metabolism, their tremendous activity & their growth. Boys generally catch up with their fathers in need for calories at 13 years & exceed them by 16 percent at 18. By 10 years of age girls already exceed their mothers by 11 % & at 13 by 16 % in their energy needs.
2. Structural Requirements: the structural requirement covers the need for materials which go to make up tissues & to regulate the functions of those tissues. The necessary food elements or nutrients are 40 in number. They include amino acids from proteins, at least one digestive product of carbohydrates (glucose), some unsaturated fatty acids or acids (derived from the digestion of fats), minerals & vitamins. The body needs all these in adequate amounts for the building & repair of its tissues & for these tissue’s daily activities. Since all foods do not contain all of these nutrients, a balanced diet of “protective” foods, i.e. foods rich in the essential nutrients, is necessary.
3. Importance of Minerals: Minerals serve as constituents of tissues. Calcium & Phosphorus are responsible for the rigidity of the bones & teeth. The softer bones of children contain less minerals than the firmer bones of adults. The process of hardening called ossification demands Calcium & Phosphorus in generous quantities. An inadequate amount of these minerals may result in poor teeth & poorly formed bones. Poor teeth are a barrier to good health & attractiveness. Poorly formed bones detract from the attractiveness of an individual & limit his physical efficiency.
Minerals serve as regulators of body process. The part played by minerals in the beating of the heart & in the activity of the nerves has been mentioned. For coagulation of the blood the body needs calcium in the blood. Phosphorus takes part in the chain of events in muscle activity & in the transfer of energy. The digestive juices such as salivary, gastric & intestinal juices, depend upon minerals for their acidity or alkalinity. Minerals regulate the flow of liquids by means of which substances are absorbed, passed to and from body cells & excreted through kidneys or intestines.
4. Importance of Vitamins: The vitamins, as regulators of body processes, have a vital role to play in keeping children well & furthering their development. The vitamins now recognized as contributing to the health & growth of children are Vitamin A, D ,C, K, Thiamine, Riboflavin, Niacin, B-6, Folic acid & B-12. Vitamin K aids in the formation of prothrombin, which is associated with the mechanism of blood clotting.
VITAMIN –A : is a necessary part of the visual process & thus is associated with the ability to see in dim light. Vit-A is also necessary for maintaining the health of epithelial tissue, namely, the tissue of skin, covering of the eye, the lining of respiratory, alimentary & genitourinary tracts. Deficiency of Vit –A structurally impairs “the body’s first line of defense”. In addition it is necessary for the orderly development of bones & teeth. It is also essential for the formation of enamel of teeth.
Source of Vitamin A - Milk, Butter, Liver, Fish Liver Oils and Egg Yolk.
VITAMIN –D : IS essential for the normal growth & mineralization of the bones & the teeth. The body cannot make proper use of the Calcium & Phosphorus supplied by food unless Vit- D is present.
Source of Vitamin D - Fish Liver Oil, Milk, Butter, and Yeast.
Thiamine (Vit- B 1) : Is one of the vitamins in the B-Complex. Thiamine is essential for the maintenance & normal function of the nervous system. It has been found that Thiamine is necessary to carry carbohydrate metabolism through an essential step.
Source - Cereals, Grains, Beans, Nuts, Pork and Duck.
RIBOFLAVIN (Vit-B 2) : Plays an important role in the internal environments in which the body cells live, where it is involved in the life processes of active cells. Riboflavin is essential to growth & to normal nutrition at all ages. A deficiency produces characteristic changes in the lips, tongue & skin.
Source - Dairy products, offal and leafy vegetable.
NIACIN: Is involved in the life processes of the cells. It prevents Pellagra, with its characteristic skin lesions, digestive & nervous disturbances, provided all other essentials are included in the diet.
Source - Found in many food stuff including plant, meat, (particularly Offal).
VITAMIN –B 6 : Is a member of the enzyme system in certain metabolic processes, including those of neural tissue. Arrested growth & disturbances in functioning of the nervous system have been noted to follow deprivation of B 6 in infancy. Also alteration in tryptophan metabolism in pregnancy has been relieved by administration of B 6 .
Sources - Widely found in animal and plant food stuff.
FOLIC ACID : Has been found to play an important part in the body’s blood forming activities. It is effective in the treatment of certain types of anaemia.
Sources - Found in green vegetables, spinach and Broccoli.
VITAMIN –B 12 (Cyanocobalmine ) : Plays an essential metabolic role & is essential for the prevention or treatment of pernicious anaemia, a disturbance of red blood cell formation.
Sources - It is found in Meat, Fish, eggs and milk but not in plant. It's also found in papayas, cantaloupes, strawberries, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, tomatoes, asparagus and parsley.
VITAMIN C : Is essential to the health of intercellular material which acts as cementing substance in holding the cells of a tissue in their precise positions.
Sources – Lemon, orange, amla, potatoes.
5. Functions of Proteins : Proteins make up a part of all body cells & participate in nearly all life processes; therefore, they are necessary for growth. Through digestion they are broken down into amino acids which are used by the body in building its tissues; bones, muscle, nerves, skin, blood etc. Eight of these amino acids cannot be manufactured in the body & so must be supplied in the diet. Deficiencies in particular amino acid may lead to specific types of injury e.g. when Argimine is deficient there is a decrease in the number of sperms & their motility.
Proteins are necessary for the manufacture of enzymes used in the hormones of the endocrine glands, such as thyroxin of the thyroid gland, epinephrine of the adrenals & insulin of the pancreas. They function in regulating the flow of fluid in & out of cells.
6. Functions of carbohydrates & fats : carbohydrates & fats as the chief sources of energy, are necessary for growth, & they furnish energy for the growth process. Carbohydrates & fats also furnish the body with adipose tissue, which serves as a protection against the loss of heat, act as a cushion to the abdominal organs & is a potential source of body energy. Certain fats perform another important function i.e. they are carriers of vitamin A & D. Glucose, a digestive product of carbohydrates is a constant constituent of the blood.
7. Role of Water: The human being lives in water, even though it is not an aquatic species. Water is a part of every tissue in the body, even of the proverbially dry bone. In children the percentage of water in tissues is higher than in adulthood. Matured bone contains nearly half its weight in water. About 75% of muscle & 80% of the grey matter of the brain are water. No cell can carry on its activities when it is absolutely dry & most cells must be constantly bathed with fluid in order to do their work. These cells have their food brought to them & their waste products removed by the water route, the blood. Many of these waste products are eliminated through the urine. Water serves as a regulator of body temperature. Evaporation from the skin, perspiration, provides one of the most important methods of removing surplus heat from the body. Water protects internal organs. The central nervous system is bathed by the cerebrospinal fluid. Fluid also lubricates joints, thereby making movements at joints easy. Water is therefore tremendously important in life. Rubner estimated that a man could lose most of his stores of glycogen & of fat & even half of his protein without serious danger to life, but a loss of 10% of body water is serious & a loss of 20% is scarcely to be endured.
Dr. Nahida M.Mulla.M.D.
Vice Principal,
Professor of Repertory & PG Guide,
HOD Repertory.
HOD Paediatric OPD,
A M.Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Hospital & PG Research Centre, Nehru Nagar, BELGAUM (Karnataka)
Mobile : 09448814660
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Breaking a child's bad habits
Posted by on Wednesday, 29th September 2010
Breaking a child's bad habits
Breaking a child's bad habits can be challenging. Bad habits first arise in the elementary school ages. Find out ways to empower a child to let go of negative reactions to stress.
Bad habits form in the best of people. However, compulsive behaviors do not have to rule a life or prevent one from participating fully in social contexts.
In fact, most bad habits such as hair sucking, fidgeting, nail biting and even aggression appear around the ages of 5 to 7. Providing a child with the following interventions can enable a child to let go of negative behaviors. As a child forms more constructive behaviors in its stead, a child's self-esteem increases affording the child with an even greater benefit than what was originally deemed possible.
Researchers believe that the reason for the early onset to most bad habit forming is that around the ages of 5 through 7 a child recognizes that he/she is watched by peers and others in authoritative and assessing positions. A child will pick up a compulsive behavior such as hair sucking in order to release calming hormones through the blood stream. The behavior over time becomes associated with a calm and serene state.
Earlier in toddlerhood, a child might use what psychologists term as a transitional object to produce a similar effect. For instance, some toddlers have a favorite blanket or bear that is associated with comfort. Unfortunately, the child in elementary school knows that a transitional object is fodder for ridicule from one's peers. Hence, the elementary school child will substitute a comforting compulsive behavior for the transitional object in the hope that the behavior will not be noticed as easily as an object.
Be careful of ridiculing this desire. After all, how many of us adults would feel lost without our purses and wallets even when we are aware that the place or person we are seeing does not necessitate needing a purse or wallet or watch or...whatever? Yet, we find ourselves deriving similar comfort from the close proximity of these objects.
How then can a parent or teacher facilitate in the child the breaking of a bad habit?
Behaviorists warn that more important than how to facilitate the breaking of a habit is the how not to approach the negative behavior. For instance, the very reason a child forms a bad habit is that the child recognizes for the first time that his/her performance is being assessed and is, therefore, feeling conspicuous. Calling attention to the behavior in front of the child's peers is the worst thing a parent or teacher can do even if that is what instinctually arises. For instance, a teacher might abhor hair or thumb sucking; however, calling attention to the behavior in front of peers only reinforces the child's fears that he/she is being judged as falling short.
Instead, behaviorists ask that parents and teachers attempt to stop the bad habit. For example, calling attention to when the child is behaving positively is a great way of negating the child's negative thought processes or feeling judged or feeling conspicuous in a negative way.
In this manner, the child will begin to believe that he is being watched in a positive manner and will want to match all behaviors to this ideal. Eventually, the habit will no longer be needed, as the child will assume that his/her behaviors are looked upon in a positive manner, and therefore, the stress associated with feeling watched will disappear.
Moreover, child psychologists also warn against punishing bad habits. Punishment does not teach; instead, punishment stops a behavior in the short-term. meanwhile, the stress increases as the child is now handed two problems instead of the original one. For instance, the child feels stressed and the child has to let go of the behavior that provides the comfort. The use of punishment encourages sneaking of the bad habit. The child has not learned a new constructive behavior in its place. Punishment ends up hurting everyone, since noone feels at peace with the loss. Parents discover that the child still engages in the behavior and the child feels shamed for needing to do it.
Instead, behaviorists suggest that parents, teachers and the child work as allies in the habit breaking. Researchers have found that concrete objects (other than food) that the child enjoys are wonderful tools for habit breaking. However, rather than using these objects as rewards, the child should be given them at the start of each day. If the child does not engage in the negative behavior, he/she will be able to keep all of the objects. On the other hand, if the child engages in the habit (he/she will likely do so in the beginning), then the objects are eliminated one-by-one per the number of times the behavior occurs.
To illustrate, imagine that a child enjoys the sparkle of pennies or fancy looking pencils or buttons that when accrued can be turned in for a special movie viewing. Let us assume that the child bites nails at least 10 times during the day. A parent and teacher can agree that the child is able to start the day with 10 pennies, 10 buttons or 10 pencils at the beginning of the day. As this behavior change is new, the child engages in nail biting 3 times during the day. The child sees by the removal of the desired items how often the child engages or desires to engage in the behavior. This awareness renders the child more aware of the negative habit forcing the child to no longer feel numbed by it. This means that fewer feel good hormones are being released for the purpose of calming.
Moreover, the child also comes to grips with the idea that there are fewer of the chips with which he/she started encouraging a sense of personal disappointment. It should be clarified here that for one child 10 pennies is enough of a reward in itself. However, another child might want to turn in the 10 pennies or whatever token is used for a desired activity such as movie watching, internet use, game playing, etc. Each child is unique and needs to identify to the parents and/or teacher exactly what activity would mean a great deal to him/her. Parent and teacher can then identify to the child how many of the objects need to be accrued for the purpose of accessing the activity. Success of the exercise is determined by the progress of not engaging in the compulsive habit. Over time, parents, teachers and child should be able to see that the behaviors lessened in numbers each day of the experiment. The ultimate reward should come relatively soon after the first day that no negative behaviors were engaged.
Much praise should be given to the child for whatever progress is seen over time. Moreover, some habits are more easily dropped than others. For instance, a child who lives in two different houses is going to require more patience across settings than a child who lives in one. Adults are apt to experience this phenomenon as well. For instance, it is easier to diet at home than it is in a restaurant, office setting, in-laws, etc. The more places in which a child can learn these positive rewards, the more likely that stress will not resurface. So, while it may take longer to learn the new habit forming across settings, the positive behaviors are more likely to be permanently reinforced.
Ultimately, the child needs to see that he/she is encouraged by positive affirmations that he/she can and will surmount the negative habit. The bond that is formed when the child sees that he/she is part of a team is also a precious benefit that arises from working to eliminate the bad habit. Finally, sharing with the child any bad habits that the parent had in childhood also reinforces to the child that he/she is not alone. Isn't that the greatest lesson to be learned?
Dr. Nahida M.Mulla.M.D.
Vice Principal,
Professor of Repertory,
PG Guide,
HOD of Paediatric OPD.
A.M.Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Hospital & PG Research Centre Belgaum – 590010 (Karnataka)
Mobile: 09448814660.
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Building self confidence in children
Posted by on Wednesday, 29th September 2010
Build self confidence & self-esteem in your children:
Simple ways to build your child’s self confidence and esteem for a happier child and better parent/child relationships.
All Parents want their children to be confident. Reassurance is something we are all aware of as a parental tool to build confidence, but there are other techniques you can utilize to help build your children’s confidence level. There are three simple, yet very important things to remember:
# 1. Praise.
Praise your children daily on a job well done, or a situation you observe them handling appropriately. Let them know that you approve, and why. When your youngest child colors a nice picture and is eager to show it to you, be sure to praise them. But, also be sure to pick out a singular aspect of the picture to comment on. This tells even the youngest of children that you are interested in what they have accomplished. Praise should go beyond your acknowledgement of the piece of art; it should say to the child that you have paid attention to the details in the picture as well. With this method of praising, and singling out particular reasons a child’s confidence can soar.
# 2. Reliability and Consistency.
Children of all ages not only want to know, but need to know that they can depend on their parents or guardians to be consistent. If you have set rules for a specific dinnertime, be consistent. Do not let the teenager (or any member) of your household upset a family routine or set rule due to a preference, such as eating at friend’s house at the last minute, or being late for dinner due to a game. While there will always be exceptions to this practice, if you are consistent in any given family situation or rule your children will know they can rely on you. Although this strategy might not be popular in your home at first, your family will eventually accept and expect certain rules. They will learn to respect your decisions through your dependability as well. Through the child’s confidence in you his own confidence grows.
# 3. Trust
Trust, as we all know is “earned”. You can and should start building trust between you and your children as early as toddler hood. Nothing builds confidence in humans like trust. Be sure to remain consistent (as mentioned above) when you allow your children to venture forth in new areas. It is not always easy for a parent to feel sure of their children’s abilities, albeit a new bike, or riding that bike to the neighborhood store. Start with small and realistic steps that are agreed upon and carried out. Each success is the essential ingredient to building trust between child and parent.
Building self esteem in kids:
A child’s self esteem is one of the single most important things you can help your child to develop. A good self esteem helps a child to be confident, try new things, get along well with other children, do well in school and countless other things. The way a child feels about himself affects nearly every aspect of his life and children look to adults to learn about who they are. If a child is ignored, for example, he will feel unimportant and will act out in either two ways, he will behave badly to attract attention to himself or he will fade into the woodwork, believing that he is not important enough for anyone to take notice of him. Both examples show evidence of low self esteem.
If you want to build good self esteem in your child, you need to start when they are babies. Children begin to learn about themselves from the very beginning and if you start out right, the rest will be easy. Talk to your baby and praise her often, even for tiny victories like learning to drink from a cup, give your baby applause and let her know she is spectacular. When children see that they can accomplish things it boosts their esteem, especially if it is noticed and praised by adults.
Ask your child for his opinion on things: “What do you think of that movie we just saw?” “What restaurant do you like best?” If you ask for their opinion, they will feel important and valuable. Include your child on family decisions and always consider his input. Don’t ever ridicule your child or tell him that his idea is silly, instead, even if the idea is a little silly, you could say, “That’s a different way of looking at it!” or “How creative!”
Basically, you should treat your child with the respect that you would give to any other person and give plenty of praise and acknowledgement of his status as an important part of the family. Your child will gain friends more easily when he feels comfortable with himself and you will have the peace of mind of knowing he feels good about himself.
Oh, how delicate the thing called self esteem can be! As adults, most of us have noticed that if we are told something often enough, we might end up believing it. If those things happen to be negative, it can be so destructive!
It is very damaging for a child to hear negative things about him or herself. Unfortunately, these things often come from avenues other than their peers or the school bully. Haven’t we overheard parents saying things like “take that outfit off, you look awful!” Or saying within hearing range of a child “Johnny will never make anything of himself. He won’t even sit down to do his homework.”
Too many people simply don’t stop to think of the impact their words might have on an impressionable child. If a young teen experiments with makeup, as an example, words to the effect of “wipe it off, you look like a tramp!” will damage for a very long time while saying “I think a lighter shade of that color would look even prettier” builds self esteem because their efforts have been noticed.
It is hard to determine at exactly what age a child starts “taking it all in” and building what is to be their own self image in their mind. Certainly by the time they’re old enough to understand what “if you keep being too lazy to understand that math work, you’ll never make anything of yourself in life” means. If they start believing that life will be a waste, it will be an uphill battle to build self esteem and the desire to succeed in life. It could make much difference to hear instead “I know you’re having trouble with that math work, Billy. Why don’t we sit down together and figure it out? You’re very smart and I know that between us, we can conquer it.”
How a child views himself relies greatly on those he trusts. The parents. There will be enough peer pressure and bullies over the years; and what the child hears from a parent needs to counteract negative things others will say. It only takes a few short breaths to say “I’m so proud of you!” or “You look great today!”
I recently had an interview with a delightful girl of 15. She had been having some problems in many areas of life. She finally mentioned that she was dating and had been for a while. I took the plunge and asked what led to that decision. She thought for a moment and answered, “Oh, that’s easy. My mother told me that no boy would ever want to go out with me.”
Make your children feel good about themselves. It takes little effort to voice the things you admire about a child. Something like “that shirt really brings out the color of your eyes beautifully” just might make the difference between a terrific day or lousy day for them. If there is a decision they can help with, it’s a perfect opportunity to voice something you admire. “Will you help me choose curtains for your room? You have great taste in things like that.”
Remember, a confident child is assured in love and patience. A confident child is a happy child.
Dr. Nahida M.Mulla.M.D.
Vice Principal,
Professor of Repertory & PG Guide.
HOD of Paediatric OPD.
A.M.Shaikh Homoeopathic Medical College, Hospital & PG Research centre, Nehru Nagar, Belgaum – 590010 (Karnataka)
Mobile: 09448814660.
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