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Medical Jokes

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Laughter - The Best Medicine

May11

We are the best of friends

Posted on Wednesday, 11th May 2011

The patient shook his doctor's hand in gratitude and said, "Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will."

"That is very kind of you," said the doctor emotionally, and then added, "Can I see that prescription I just gave you? I'd like to make a little change."

May11

Can I play the piano once these are off?

Posted on Wednesday, 11th May 2011

A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands.

"Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"

"I don't see why not," replies the doctor.

"That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before."

May11

I want to lose some weight

Posted on Wednesday, 11th May 2011

A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.

May06

The Dentist's Bill

Posted on Friday, 6th May 2011

A woman received a huge dental bill and phoned her dentist about it.

"I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge!"

"Yes, I know," said the dentist, "but you yelled so loud that you scared away two other patients and I had to make it back up somehow!"